The Problem with “Basic Bros”

DISCLAIMER: Not All Guys and blah, blah, blah.

We’ve all had crushes in the past. As a straight female, I too, have been through the painful “Boy-Crazy” phase in life. For the most part, I’ve been into nerds and geeks but every once in a while, a stray “Average Joe” makes his way into the mix. Nerds and geeks have so many issues of their own that they’re worth writing a whole other post about them and that’s not to say that females don’t have serious issues as well but today I’ve chosen to write about your stereotypical “Basic Bro.”

My definition of a “Basic Bro” is as follows: This is a dude without many distinctive qualities, think of the stereotypical “Frat Bro.” Not all “Basic Bros” are “normal” dudes and not all “normal” dudes are “Basic Bros.”

My main issue with this type of guy is that they have the worst taste in activities. No, I don’t want to watch cricket with you; no, I don’t want to see the new Jack Reacher movie with you and NO, I don’t want to listen to Post Malone in your bedroom at 1am! Now this is an issue of my own personal preferences here such as my great dislike for popular sports, Jack Reacher movies, and Post Malone’s music but it is an issue, nonetheless. It’s not that they aren’t allowed to like those things, I am totally okay with that! but my GAWD don’t drag me into it.

Now you get “normal” dudes who are great conversationalists, but I can’t say the same for the ones that I have encountered in the past. There have been numerous guys who at first, I was totally into but once I had an actual conversation with them, I realised something. Some guys are just BORING or just straight up Stupid-with-a-capital-S, OH my god. I feel like such a bad person because they probably don’t deserve it, but I can’t help but think that I honestly couldn’t give a shit about what they have to say. The worst part is that if you bring this up to the dude, they’ll have a hissy fit and say something along the lines of “Well I guess I’ll go away since you’re so traumatised by me.” I mean, yes, I want you to go away but at least let me give you some advice first!

I have issues with them online as well as offline, however. I can’t tell you just how many times I’ll wake up having received a message from 1am saying, “U up?” like, NO, its 1am???? That’s not even getting into how many of them feel the dire need to play a game of 73 questions during exams. An issue I have with people across the board is that they never seem to get the hint that they should not text me unless they have something substantial to say. Does this make me a cold-hearted bitch? Maybe. Do I care? 100% not.

In general, I find that a lot of these “Basic Bros” don’t seem to understand that I can’t spend every waking hour tending to their needs. I might ask them a question during the day and they won’t answer for a week but as soon as I decide to go to sleep when they want to have a DMC (Deep and Meaningful Conversation) they get mad. It’s the hypocrisy of the situation that drives me insane.

All-in-all, “Basic Bros” can be a whole category of infuriating. There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with them, however, they have certain quirks that I just cannot stand. This has been a major generalisation but at the same time I have based this post on my personal experiences with this particular kind of human being. If there’s a good “Basic Bro” out there who hasn’t acquired any of these characteristics: hit me up.

You have been warned.

-Birdie