Lockdown with Me: Easter

Disclaimer: I feel the need to preface this with the fact that I do not consider myself a Christian, however, I do understand that Easter as a holiday is extremely meaningful to the majority of the population.

I enjoy Easter for three reasons: Easter egg hunts, chocolate and bunnies. Yes, I realise that it isn’t very spiritual of me, however, the holiday has no spiritual meaning to me. I am totally respectful of those to whom it does hold spiritual value for, like you go Glen Coco but it really just isn’t up my alley.

I spent today doing crafts with my family and hiding/finding Easter eggs as well as working. What work you may ask? Macbeth. There’s something so blissfully ironic about reading of death on a holiday encompassing resurrection. I am, however, extremely uninspired. On one hand I realise that it is a holiday and I should catch a break, however, isn’t lockdown essentially one big public “holiday”? I mean I’m working on that big public “holiday”, but you get the picture. I guess, I’m just worried that it means that if I am uninspired and catch a break today, that break will continue over the course of the next few days and honestly, I can’t afford that. I do feel a lot more productive in my free time when I’m blogging here or on Studying Amino (yes, I realise that I’m a huge nerd thanks) or even just journalling. I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you don’t feel productive due to a disinterest in work, writing and/or drawing can help preserve that sense of productivity for creatives such as myself. It seems to be working for me.

For those who celebrate it: Happy Easter!

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Lockdown With Me: Failure

Today, I had the most frustrating experience.

So I did not pack enough for lockdown. My dear mother realised this and suggested that we go back to my commune in order to fetch things like warmer clothes and my ID book. When I got to my room, however, the lock on my door didn’t work. As in the door would unlock but not open. I could have screamed. Let me give you some context.

This situation has happened to me six times in the past year alone, the same door with the same issue. It has always been “fixed” but never properly. Now considering the stressful mission it is to drive anywhere during lockdown, I had hoped that the trip would not be futile. Once I get home after this futile excursion, I receive a message saying that they are able to fix it if I show up to the front office. But, at this stage, I am AT HOME.

On the bright side of all this I am planning to go and get it fixed tomorrow and I am appreciative of the quick response I got when I let my issue be known. I feel like such a Karen complaining to the manager but I was so frustrated. This is not my day and it’s only 10:30. Honestly though if this has taught me anything it’s that people can be really supportive on social media, I got a few positive reactions that aligned with the message I was attempting to convey. Good out of the bad, amirite?

Today is another day of working from home and colouring in one of those adult colouring pages. Maybe I AM a Karen…? Either way, I am hoping to pick this day up from the cesspit from whence it came and make it a productive one.

Have a good one.

– Birdie

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Lockdown With Me: Feelings

Hi, it’s been a while. Did you miss me?

So let’s be real. Coronavirus hit us and it hit us HARD. Basically what this means is that nationwide lockdown has been enforced and now THAT lockdown has just been extended. As someone who has BEEN going through lockdown for a couple of weeks now I just have to say that I am so over it.

I understand the need for a lockdown. We’ve got to flatten the curve and keep ourselves and our loved ones safe. It just helps me to take my frustrations out online so that i can cope better with it. I like many students out there have been forced to return home due to lockdown, except unlike other students I am actually able to stay in my commune, the return home being parent-enforced. I appreciate my parents for caring about my safety and wanting me around during this tumultuous time, however, I am going crazy.

I had cabin fever before I even got to my house. At this point not only am I extremely frustrated but I want to do the spiritual equivalent of jumping out of a tenth story window (not condoning physically jumping out of a tenth story window). On the one hand I’m jealous of China for being able to walk and live freely but on the other hand I know that what they’re doing is dangerous and rash.

As you can see, I am conflicted. I want to be frustrated and annoyed, however, I am aware that this is what’s best for me. I basically made this post to explain the feelings that I am experiencing during lockdown so far. I am planning on posting updates through a little Lockdown With Me series. If you have any suggestions on what I should post next please comment down below, gods know I need the inspiration. Also feel free to let me know how you are feeling about this whole Coronageddon situation. See you soon.

– Birdie

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College and the Idea of Loneliness

So, I recently started college and I am simultaneously prepared and unprepared for it.

Everyone understands that college is nothing like high school, that the lecturers don’t give a shit about you and that sex is rampant but for these past few weeks, I have been suffering from something completely out-of-character for me. Persistent loneliness and isolation.

Everyone tells you that you’ll be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people you meet during college orientation, however, this is nothing like my own personal experience. These past few weeks I have become friends with a grand total of two people. I’m not someone who takes pride in having a shit ton of friends so that’s not what bothers me. What bothers me is the fact that I am in college, surrounded by people and my whole two friends and continue to feel completely isolated. This is something temporary for me and I have a pretty strong resolve, take a ton of anxiety and depression meds, and have a gift for butting into people’s conversations but I worry for the people who aren’t like me.

College/university isn’t all partying and socialisation for everone involved. It can be hard to keep in touch with people and to create new acquaintanceships. I feel like people who’ve been to college in the past tell everyone to worry about over-socialising but never mention the potential hazards of under-socialising. If isolation is your jam, good on ya! I worry about the people who are affected by loneliness. If I have felt as awful as I have these past few weeks than how would someone feel who is a lot more mentally vulnerable than I am? It just bothers me that someone might be starting college right now and suffering from budding anxiety or depression due to their lack of human connection.

The solution to this issue would be to stop assuming as a society that everyone will have the same/similar experiences as a college freshman. We need to warn people about their potential lack of social life in college so that they can start creating a support system before it’s too late.

I realise that I sound superr Tumblr Ho with all this ~mental health guyzz~ talk, but I do believe that this is an issue that people just don’t discuss enough when it comes to college.

Agree with me or don’t, that’s just how I feel. If you are one of the Gs who actually get what I’m saying please consider telling a future college kid that you may know (if you start lecturing a random high school senior without warning, you might get arrested- don’t be creepy!) about this issue. You could actually help someone.

Well, that’s my emotional rant for the day. If you’re looking for me, I’ll be lost in a downward spiral of Netflix documentaries.

-Birdie

An Intervention for University/College Websites

So, here’s the tea.

There are few inanimate objects that really make me want to kill a bitch. I lie, there are many objects that do this, however, the ones that I will be addressing today are: University/College websites. They suck ass and I don’t mean one of them, I mean ALL of them.

Their issue is not with interface or general aesthetic, they are usually really nice to look at. I am sure that they are simple to navigate for a student who has already been enrolled in the institute before but I am speaking from the perspective of a newcomer. Their issue is the sheer lack of available information as well as their confusing and often contradictory instructions.

Let’s start with the lack of information. As someone who isn’t going into STEM, I have learnt NOTHING. They’ll give you the dictionary definition of your faculty but then you’re on your own, kiddo! The information that I did manage to acquire came from contacting the lecturers themselves and even they took a while to reply (because they are respected individuals with a profession that requires attention even outside of set work hours). When choosing electives not only was I extremely lost but so were my peers! For the life of me I could not find any definitive tips or rules regarding registration. Even now, I can’t even find the list of prescribed textbooks, smh…

When registering I was told to contact a specific individual who then told me to contact a certain department who THEN told me to contact the individual whom I had contacted in the first place. When receiving my timetable for the year I deadass couldn’t read it. I’m not dismissing the possibility that I could just be extremely dumb, however, I like to think that I did the best I could seeing that I was a future freshman armed with no instructions whatsoever. For those wondering if I ever figured out the timetable, I didn’t. A sophomore friend created a friendlier, more organised timetable for me. I’m not a dude but I for sure felt both grateful and emasculated at the same time. Why is a website giving me emotional turmoil, do I seem like a Tumblr chick to you? On second thought, maybe don’t answer that…

Even when applying for college, every website just seemed so complicated. My theory is that they weed out the weak ones by purposefully making their sites a living hell. There was a stage where I had an outstanding contract which I didn’t even know that I had to send the college a physical copy of until months later when one of my fellow peers where discussing their application process and their sibling was already attending the institution! I read things through. As Gina Linetti as I am, when it comes to college applications I go FULL Amy Santiago on those hos. Until very recently I’ve just been floating in a deep abyss of anxiety and confusion and all because of a college website.

What bothers me most about this is that this ain’t an unsolvable problem. If a uni IT guy ever comes across this: WEBSITES SHOULDN’T MAKE YOU STRESSED! None of this is a jab at the universities themselves, I for one totally dig my college, but if you teach web design you should at least have a user-friendly website, ya feel? Work from the perspective of a high school senior…you know, the people you want to attract in the first place. If you feel me, feel free to comment on this post because tbh I feel personally attacked by university websites.

Think of the children!

-Birdie

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My Problem with the Anti-Feminist Movement

This morning I was watching a YouTube video by the channel “honest” about Zara Larsson. This is not an anti-feminist YouTube channel and I normally enjoy his videos but for some reason this video just rubbed me the wrong way. Now, I’m not necessarily a Zara Larsson fan, I enjoy some of her songs but that’s about it. I just don’t follow her, I guess. The video was a critique, not of her music but of the controversy surrounding her beliefs but what bothered me was that it was not so much of a critique as it was a bashing. That may have not been his intention at all but it was the general vibe I got from his commentary.

I myself am an egalitarian as opposed to a feminist for various reasons and I don’t approve of “man-hating” or genera SJW-ness. There are many flaws in its ideology and I often find some of their views and mannerisms unsavoury. Zara Larsson could definitely be perceived as a “man-hater” and extreme feminist due to some of her public comments and while I don’t agree with her views necessarily, I also believe that she has a right to speak on whatever topics she pleases. Both feminists and anti-feminists could learn to understand that free will is a thing.

We hear all over social media about the typical feminist’s need for censorship and babying but I also recognise the flaws in the anti-feminist movement as well. As much as someones views may seem illogical or extremely flawed to us, we must always be aware of the fact that they probably see our own views in the same way. As long as no one’s getting physically hurt by such views, let them live, yo! Even as an egalitarian, most, if not all of my friends are feminists. Does their ideology make them worth any less? I don’t think so. Most normal people who happen to be feminists aren’t the loud, violent types you see on Tumblr. I want you to listen to anything Emma Watson or Malala Yousafzai (the former of which, the anti-feminist community LOVES to rag on) and tell me just how “man-hating” they are. Even if you see their views as misguided (which you are totally allowed to do), they don’t diss men and as flawed as I see their arguments, I have to commend them for trying to get both men and women in on the movement.

Anti-feminists are also susceptible to hypocrisy. Yes, feminists can be super cringe but oh honey, so can anti-feminists. Feminists have BuzzFeed videos and the Matt McGorry/Francesca Ramsay and anti-feminists have “Ben Shapiro DESTROYS…” videos and Tomi Lahren/Katie Hopkins. I’ve been through both Tumblr feminist and YouTube anti-feminist phases and I can tell you from experience that they were both equally as cringe.

In an ideal world, the internet would not be divided into feminists and anti-feminists but as I said: in an IDEAL world. Yes, you’re not on the same side of the dreaded SJWs but you ARE on the same side as those who commit “honour killings” overseas. I’m not against anti-feminists at all, however, I do want to give them a little perspective.

The truth hurts, don’t it?

-Birdie

Day 1 of: Brightly Coloured Hair

I’m going through changeeeeeeeeees!

So today I dyed my hair a bright and playful colour (I ain’t saying which because I enjoy this fleeting sense of anonymity) and I have noticed some differences in the way other people see me as well as in the way I see myself.

I feel like my brain can’t actually handle the idea that my hair isn’t a colour naturally found in nature. It doesn’t matter how much neon fluff is in my face, I simply cannot picture myself without my natural hair colour. It’s a weird feeling. I am also feeling slightly depressed that I’ll be taking cold showers from here on out in order to preserve my new hair colour.

I. Can’t. Blend. In. Anymore. I didn’t think about that until after I got it done, lol. I mean it technically works out for me since I’m such an attention whore but oh my god, I’m going to SUCK at hide-and-seek. I think it has to do with the fact that where I live not that many people have weird-looking hair so I basically stick out like a sore thumb. I realised this when I was walking to the store and got a look of looks that just said, “Dafuq?” I mean I was living but capture-the-flag just got a whole lot trickier.

Being a NSI (Not Skinny Individual) with coloured hair also means that I look like the ultimate SJW (Social Justice Warrior) stereotype. At least that’s what I think when I look at myself in the mirror. Don’t get me wrong, I love my look but my word I’m going to have a blast, destroying people’s expectations of me. I’m not a feminist (shocking, I know, how could I?) so I’m interested to see how many people assume I am based off of my outward appearance. I think me not being obese does lessen the blow a little, for which I am thankful.

Something that I’ve been looking forward to due to this decision is the idea of my future Instagram posts. Shit gon’ be FIRE. They who say things say that matching your hair to your Instagram theme is a bad idea. They are totally right but STICK IT TO THE MAN! Hallowe’en 2k19 is also going to be and interesting affair. I mean some of my costume ideas are now irrelevant but I also have so many more options available to me now! The cosplay opportunities are endless! Basically, let’s hope that I can keep this up through to October.

Other than that, it’s only been one day with this new addition to my aesthetic so that’s all that I have experienced so far. I’ll keep y’all updated on my myriad of hair woes, no one asked for that but just sit down and let yourself be blessed. Thank god I chose to do this rather than shave my head. I may have the emotional instability for it but I sure as hell don’t got the bone structure!

Make good decisions, mkay?

-Birdie

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The Problem with “Basic Bros”

DISCLAIMER: Not All Guys and blah, blah, blah.

We’ve all had crushes in the past. As a straight female, I too, have been through the painful “Boy-Crazy” phase in life. For the most part, I’ve been into nerds and geeks but every once in a while, a stray “Average Joe” makes his way into the mix. Nerds and geeks have so many issues of their own that they’re worth writing a whole other post about them and that’s not to say that females don’t have serious issues as well but today I’ve chosen to write about your stereotypical “Basic Bro.”

My definition of a “Basic Bro” is as follows: This is a dude without many distinctive qualities, think of the stereotypical “Frat Bro.” Not all “Basic Bros” are “normal” dudes and not all “normal” dudes are “Basic Bros.”

My main issue with this type of guy is that they have the worst taste in activities. No, I don’t want to watch cricket with you; no, I don’t want to see the new Jack Reacher movie with you and NO, I don’t want to listen to Post Malone in your bedroom at 1am! Now this is an issue of my own personal preferences here such as my great dislike for popular sports, Jack Reacher movies, and Post Malone’s music but it is an issue, nonetheless. It’s not that they aren’t allowed to like those things, I am totally okay with that! but my GAWD don’t drag me into it.

Now you get “normal” dudes who are great conversationalists, but I can’t say the same for the ones that I have encountered in the past. There have been numerous guys who at first, I was totally into but once I had an actual conversation with them, I realised something. Some guys are just BORING or just straight up Stupid-with-a-capital-S, OH my god. I feel like such a bad person because they probably don’t deserve it, but I can’t help but think that I honestly couldn’t give a shit about what they have to say. The worst part is that if you bring this up to the dude, they’ll have a hissy fit and say something along the lines of “Well I guess I’ll go away since you’re so traumatised by me.” I mean, yes, I want you to go away but at least let me give you some advice first!

I have issues with them online as well as offline, however. I can’t tell you just how many times I’ll wake up having received a message from 1am saying, “U up?” like, NO, its 1am???? That’s not even getting into how many of them feel the dire need to play a game of 73 questions during exams. An issue I have with people across the board is that they never seem to get the hint that they should not text me unless they have something substantial to say. Does this make me a cold-hearted bitch? Maybe. Do I care? 100% not.

In general, I find that a lot of these “Basic Bros” don’t seem to understand that I can’t spend every waking hour tending to their needs. I might ask them a question during the day and they won’t answer for a week but as soon as I decide to go to sleep when they want to have a DMC (Deep and Meaningful Conversation) they get mad. It’s the hypocrisy of the situation that drives me insane.

All-in-all, “Basic Bros” can be a whole category of infuriating. There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with them, however, they have certain quirks that I just cannot stand. This has been a major generalisation but at the same time I have based this post on my personal experiences with this particular kind of human being. If there’s a good “Basic Bro” out there who hasn’t acquired any of these characteristics: hit me up.

You have been warned.

-Birdie

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